Monday, January 02, 2006

YOU MIGHT BE GAY if.........

If you read more than 2 copies of GQ per year.

If you watch and enjoy "Will and Grace"

If you drink Pink Champagne on a regular basis.

If you attend the opera.

If you attend the ballet.

If you think Pink Polo Shirts are acceptable attire on the golf course.

If you voted for Ralph Nadar.

If you think watching men shooting pool is fun.

If you own a Babs Streisand Record Tape CD or DVD.

If your car is as clean as the day you bought it.

If your truck is as clean as the day you bought it.

If you clean the house on your day off.

If you think the soap in the shower smells "nice".

If you use hair mouse on a daily basis.

If you get regular manicures.

If your regular massage person is a guy.

If you think a pressed white T shirt, ironed blue jeans and black belt is good fashion.

If you like Rainbow bumber stickers.

If you think Freddie Mercury was good looking.

If you use your traffic signals in Boston Traffic.

If you think a manly dog is a poodle.

If you own a cat... and ADMIT IT! (sorry Colonel!)

If you think Paris Hilton has fashion sense.

If you liked Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch

If you "peak" at the urinal.

If you watch American Idol by yourself.

If you like enjoy the song "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

If you keep watching "Midnight Express" just to see the inside of a Turkish Prison.

If you like Gladiator Movies.

If you worry about how your hair looks.

If you throw away the SI Swimsuit Issue.

If you subscribe to PlayGirl.

If you want to plan your vacation to visit the ruins of Sodom and Gomorrah.

If you wonder if that pair of jeans makes you look FAT!

Of course these only mean that you MIGHT be gay.... Attending or doing some of things with your girlfriend or wife does not count. After all, you do sometimes have to support "SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED" for the sake of peace in the household. However if you do many of these things by yourself then you just might be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that!!!!

4 Comments:

Anonymous the Colonel said...

Hey, there are some "manly" operas like War & Peace, Boris Gudanov, Atilla, Rigoletto, The Flying Dutchman, Othello, and (of course) Don Giovanni!

January 03, 2006 7:43 AM  
Anonymous the Colonel said...

Hey, there are some "manly" operas like War & Peace, Boris Gudanov, Atilla, Rigoletto, The Flying Dutchman, Othello, and (of course) Don Giovanni!

January 03, 2006 7:43 AM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

Well Colonel I see you glossed over the being a cat owner bit!! And I don't know about an Opera being "Manly" but given the level of respect I have for you I will take your word for it.

January 03, 2006 2:22 PM  
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