Thursday, June 07, 2007

An Immigrant Tail
A Somali refugee arrives in Minneapolis, qat in hand, as a new immigrant to the United States.

He is in complete awe of the tall buildings he sees and slightly bemused about the frigid weather. It is mid MAY after all and the temps are in the mid 60's F.

With wide eyes and great pleasure he stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education! Now I can bring my whole family here as well" He pauses for a second and shouts in broken English, "AMERICA IS WONDEFUL COUNTRY!!! (The Somali passed on the FREE ENGLISH as SECOND LANGUAGE classes offered at the local Community College)

The passerby, slightly bemused says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican. Senor."

The Somali refugee immigrant stumbles walking on the smooth Minneapolis sidewalks, unaccustomed to walking on anything other than rough land mined filled dirt roads, meanders on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such beautiful country here in America !" he exclaims.

The person says back to him in broken English, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, generously offers the man some of his coveted qat and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!"That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Brazil, I am not American!"

At this point the Somali refugee immigrant catches a glimpse of the single most American symbol he knows and his eyes have ever seen. No, it isn't the American Flag, it is the Golden Arches of McDonalds. He hurriedly crosses the street, ignoring the cross walk designed for pedestrian use and rushes in, eyes fully ablaze in wonderment. He rushes to the front of the line pushing people aside. He gleefully orders a coffee and a BigMac and exclaims to the cashier how much he loves America.

The cashier, somewhat puzzled at the Somali's strange behavior quips. "I do not like America, I am only here working for money to send home to my village in Guatemala."

Unfettered by the cashiers remark, the Somali grabs a seat and inhaled his BigMac and swilled his coffee and left McDonalds chewing some more qat. Seemingly ignoring the HELPWANTED sign in the window of McDonalds and the one on the counter and on the tray liner.

About a half a block down the street, he spots a nice looking lady and he rushes up to her and gleefully asks, "Are you American?" She says, "No! I am from Africa !"

Somewhat befuddled and puzzled by all the NON AMERICANS he has encountered since arriving in Minneapolis, he scratches his head and gums the qat in his mouth like a cow chewing her cud.

He then asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and puts one hand on his shoulder and says..."Probably at work..."

America is truly a wonderful country!


Blogger Rara Avis said...

Just to tell u that wherever you're getting those amusing pieces from, keep them coming!

June 18, 2007 12:07 AM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

rara avis

Thanks for stopping by. Someone sent me this last one and I did some "edits" on it to spice it up a bit. I am glad you liked it!

Please come back as often as you would like. You are always welcoe here.

June 18, 2007 8:09 AM  

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