Subject: top ten thoughts of 2006
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in North America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Special thanks again to Judy "now that's a Toyota" Ebert for sending me this!
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in North America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Special thanks again to Judy "now that's a Toyota" Ebert for sending me this!
posted by Cerebralwaste at 1:59 PM
4 Comments:
The Mad Cow has been shipped to GITMO to serve as a source of milk for the "guests"!
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Sure, just stick an electronic tag in every person's ear and have it scanned each time they cross state borders.
Sounds like a good plan to me. Tag each illegal alien when we catch and deport them. That way we know for sure when, as usual, we catch them again!
There is nothing wrong with protecting ones borders.
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