Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A Letter to the President of Mexico

Dear President Vicente Fox: (aka El Presidente~)

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure you handle those things the same way we do here.

So, we will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get your memo from to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals. I also want the locals to pay for all related security, a park, electricity, vendor booths and clean up and all other costs related to this celebration.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the Mexican economy.
14. I'd like a voter registration card so I can vote in Mexican elections

I know this is an easy request for you because the U.S. already does all of these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that you won't mind returning the favor.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,
CerebralWaste, An American

2 Comments:

Blogger Qatar Cat said...

Funny... And so true. I would love to address that to the governments of all countries whose nationals are currently rioting in Europe for "freedom to exercise their rights related to the national identity".

I wonder what will come out of the immigration law in the US..

April 19, 2006 10:56 AM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

QC

Thanks for stopping by! Hope thing are well in Qatar and please don't be stranger around here!

Sooner or later there will be some serious immigration reform in the US. We are at a breaking point. Even here in LIBERAL Pinko Massachusetts people are waking up to the associated problems that illegals are having/creating in the social fabric of the Nation. Sad but true.
The US is not a ATM to be used at the wanton discretion of people who choose to enter the country illegaly or overstay their legal visas. This land is full of opprotunity for people to "catch" and "use". It was not intended for people to ABUSE.

April 20, 2006 6:36 AM  

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