Tuesday, January 17, 2006

50 Reasons You know you’re from Massachusetts and a MassHole when......

1) The person driving in front of you is doing 70mph and you’re yelling at him to go faster.
2) Even though Rt 128 and I -95 are pretty much the same road this doesn’t confuse you.
3) When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke, not carbonated water.
4) You can navigate a rotary without a problem (you know what the term “rotary” means, and who has the right-of-way)
5) You carry MBTA (but call it simply “the T”) tokens.
6) You know how to pronounce Worcester, Wareham, Haverhill, Peabody, Barre,
Scituate and Cotuit.
7) You have driven to New Hampshire to get beer on a Sunday.
8) You know there are 2 Bulger brothers (and which is which).
9) You have been to (and love) Fenway Park (Go Sox!)
10) You knew there was no chance in hades that the Patriots would move to Hartford or win 3 games in a row!
11) You laugh at all the other New England states.
12) You know of a least 1 diner or food vendor to get something to eat in the middle of the night.
13) You can actually find your way around Boston (without a map or GPS).
14) You have gone to at least one party at UMASS.
15) The curse of the Bambino is taught in public school.
16) You have a “Yankees Suck” T-shirt.
17) Colleges are used as landmarks for directions (ie: Go past MIT until you hit Harvard, Take a right and go past Lesley, Keep going until you hit Tufts (actual directions!)
18) Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.
19) Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.
20) You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud, Sully or Seamus
21) You think the rest of the country owes you for having Thanksgiving and
Independence Day.
22) You laughed at kids down south for not getting "snow days".
23) You feel the rest of the world should drive as well as you!
24) The Beanpot is a hockey tournament, not a serving container.
25) You take great pride in Cheers.
26) You can recognize a girl from Revere by her hair.
27) You know exactly where you were when the ball went through Buckner’s legs.
28) You know there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a direction.
29) Somebody calls you a "Masshole" and you take it as a compliment.
30) When the words "Wicked" and "Good" go together.
31) You actually prayed to God that the Red Sox win the World Series not this season but in your LIFETIME (“Reverse the Curse before I’m in a hearse”)…and you’re still recovering from the shock.
32) You know what a frappe is.
33) You know what the phrase "Big Dig" means (and how much it’s going to cost…at least the latest guestimate).
34) You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your home.
35) You know how to merge from 4 lanes of traffic into 1.
36) You know where "Southie" is and how it is different from the South End.
36) You're proud to drink Sam Adams.
37) St. Patrick’s Day is your second favorite holiday even if you’re not Irish (your favorite is Patriot’s Day).
38) You never say Cape Cod; you say The Cape.
39) You were emotionally moved when the Boston Garden was torn down.
40) You think Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
41) You went to Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, and the Saugus Iron Works on grammar school field trips.
42) You know that somewhere in Mass there is a town called Brimfield and that a big Antique fair is held there.
43) You can drive to the mountains and to the ocean in the same day
44) You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters
45) If you live in Charlton City, at least 99% of the rest of your family does also.
46) You know that the Mass Pike and 495 are some sort of mysterious weather dividing line.
47) You know that P Town is not the name of a Rap group.
48) You ask for “jimmies” with your ice cream.
49) You would not be caught dead eating Manhattan clam chowder.50) You do not recognize the letter "R" as part of the English Language.


Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

Special thanks AGAIN to the COLONEL for sending me this. CLASSIC!!! Huwah!

January 17, 2006 6:03 AM  
Blogger Bahraini Rants said...


friggin' brilliant! that just made crack up so loud at work! what was with the I90 and 495 weather lines? the Bulgers... I miss my frappes from Celebrity Pizza.. I also had the Yankees Suck pin on my work bag (much to the disapproval of my old boss, a yankee fan)..

I'm going to sit back and read everything over again and laugh some more..

too funny,


January 17, 2006 6:26 AM  
Blogger Bahraini Rants said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 17, 2006 6:26 AM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...


MY MAN!! Glad you enjoyed it!! How about coming up with "50 reasons you know your a Bahraini when..."

Here's the first one

1)You can spot a Saudi driving a car without seeing the license plate!

January 17, 2006 6:49 AM  
Anonymous chanad said...

51) "Khakis" are the things you use to start your automobile

January 17, 2006 7:57 AM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

Chan'ad that is BRILLIANT!!!!!

January 17, 2006 11:35 AM  
Blogger Desert Island Boy said...

I thought your drove to COW Hampshire for beer on Sundays...

January 18, 2006 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not anymore!! You can now buy beer on SUNDAYS!! Both kinds of beer!

January 18, 2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger Cerebralwaste said...

As Mr.Anon above has said we MassHoles are no longer required to flee up Rt 95 or 93 to Cow Hampshire for some malted Adult Amber Colored beverages anymore. We can drive just as (un)sober down the street now and snag a 12 pak as needed during Halftime. Yep lots of progress in Taxachusetts.

January 18, 2006 4:44 PM  
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