BEST JOKE CONTEST presented by CerebralWaste

Ok here is the deal. I was watching the PAT's pound the Bill's last night and I had an idea. They are few and far between sometimes but when I woke up this morning it was still with me so....

Starting November 1st to November 30th CEREBRALWASTE will run a contest giving away for FREE, both SHOUFY THE CAT childrens books from SHOUFY.Com. Postage paid to ANYWHERE in the WORLD. Winner won't pay a dime!

You can email me your submission or post it here on the blog!!!

For those who aren't familiar with Shoufy and her adventures around Bahrain you should check out her website at www.shoufy.com. Great books for kids as well as the website. Check it out!


All I ask is to please keep the jokes quasi clean. Block out any over the top strong language by replacing questionable letters of words with numbers or symbols. Younger eyes to view this site and the Shoufy series of books are for Children though I enjoyed reading them myself. Then I never claimed to be a "real" adult anyway!

A MAN's MAN.

Today (fingers crossed!) a true MAN's MAN will walk onto the battlefield. Dawn the gear and take his position on the turf. Eight long months after having being leveled with a STROKE in his home, the New England Patriots number 54, TEDY BRUSCHI will make his return to the field!

Bruschi can only be described as leader and a true Patriot. Not only has he battled back from a very serious medical problem but Bruschi, unlike many "professional" athletes in this era is not just after the money and fame. (T.O. anyone?*) What many don't know is Bruschi took roughly a 2 million dollar pay cut to stay with the Pats. Money he could have demanded from the PATS or any other team. Instead he chose to stay with the team he loves. He's a MAN's MAN and can be best described in one word... CLASS.

Welcome Back # 54! You have been missed! Now kick some Bills' ASS!!!!!!

* Little did I know but the Eagles Terrell Owens has now been Suspended Indefinitely for bad conduct off the field. November 6th 2005

Halloween Cancelled in NEWTON MASSACHUSETTS

Boston GLOBE EDITORIAL Costume drama via boston.com
October 29, 2005
IN THE shadowy mists of Celtic prehistory many hundreds of years ago, Halloween was a religious holiday. It is now an innocent rite of childhood, and the Underwood Elementary School in Newton should have the good sense to maintain the tradition of an annual Halloween celebration.
Instead, the principal, David Castelline, decided to cancel the festivities at the request of several parents who would otherwise not have sent their children to school Monday because the celebrations offended their religious sensibilities. ''I felt the goal was really important to make it a respectful and open and welcoming place for all members of our community," Castelline said of his school.
Halloween is not very respectful, but is welcoming to any child who likes to dress up in a costume and become someone or something else. It is one of the vivid shared experiences of growing up, fondly remembered for apple dunking, candy collecting, and innocent tricks. Even at the lower grades, schools are becoming places of hard work and grim determination. Halloween should be a time when learning is leavened by a costumed extravaganza..........

Principal Dr David Castelline of Underwood Elementary School located at 101 Vernon Street Newton, MA 02458 with a listed phone number of (617) 559-9660 is BEYOND the BRAINFART du Jour. Rather, David as I will call him since the Phd he acquired had to come from the back of magazine. No one with a REAL PHD who cared about the children would stoop as low to cancel Halloween. At Christmas we would call you THE GRINCH. You seem to be something worse. Something without a name. Or at least one I would not want to use in this public forum. YET.

The real question and issue is when are we as a society going to stop bending over to be PC to the often vocal but obvious MINORITY of screwballs in this world? Dear David has no business being involved with children on any level since it is obvious he is an asswipe of the highest order and a man with no spine to boot. Do all of us TAXPAYING citizens of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts a favor and RESIGN your post and STAY OUT OF TEACHING. Schools have enough problems without YOU creating more.

Of Course DAVID if you want, you, or someone from the Newton School system can REBUT and post your thoughts and stance here at anytime. I have emailed this post to the Newton School Board. Anyone else who would like to share your feelings about DAVID's canceling of Halloween can do so to this email address schoolcommittee@newtonpublicschools.com

An Auto - matic ramble about nothing......


Ahhh.. The fall season is here. Leaves turning, a hint of snow in the air (I know it is early the nitwit on TV said so) The faint smell of burning firewood is in the air and the Holidays are in sight. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years come rolling in to fill our hearts minds and bellies. But you know what I really look forward too this time of the year? You really want to know? Ok.. I will tell you what it is. I LOOK FORWARD TO THE SNOWBIRDS HEADING BACK TO FLORIDA. Snowbirds? What feathered species is it? The HUMAN KIND. The ones with gray hair and blue tint who drive some strange Oldsmolbuick hybrid that more often than not resembles a BOAT rather than a car. The menace to the motoring public. The "WHERE'S THE BEEF" brigade. the "What's that you say son? My hearing aide hums" .mob The GERITOL crowd. The Ageing Antiques.

Whatever you want to call them they are a growing menace on the highways and bi ways, main streets and back roads in New England and I suspect in other places as well. After another summer of dodging these driving Q Tips I have come to the conclusion they must be culled off the road. As harsh as it sounds the bitter fact and pill remains as we grow old so do our motor functions. We do not see as good at 65 as we did when where 20. Our reactions times falter as well. Other than a mass roundup of every "Codger and Codgette" for mass de-licensing the only viable solution is MANDETORY re-license exam and skills test for EVERY driver every 2 years over the age of 50. Hells bells do it for everyone after the age of 30! I don't care. Just get these people off the roads!! On the flip side raise the driving age from 16 to 21 as well to thin out the other psychos. The ones who have the skills needed to drive but not the actual brains to pull it off!. And for GOD's sake when you see me doing 65 in a school zone get the hell out of my way!

Due to the political nature of this issue it will never happen. OLD PEOPLE VOTE.

Man arrested for spreading photos of penis
Oct. 26, 2005 at 7:38PM
A Wisconsin man is in big trouble for photographing his penis, making copies and leaving them on women's windshields in at least four towns. Jeffrey John Hein, 40, currently faces 30 charges of lewd and lascivious behavior for disseminating his private business throughout Hartford and West Bend, and police in Germantown and Menomonee Falls told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel he violated their penal codes as well. Two of the criminal complaints say Hein got his artistic inspiration from a Web site called "I Shot Myself," which advises readers to "pickle yourself in the adrenaline rush of public nudity," the Journal Sentinel said. Hein allegedly dropped his photos on windshields, pushed them threw open windows and flipped them through cracked sunroofs. He would then watch for the women's reactions as they found his missive. Many women reported the crime to their local police stations, but at least one woman was spotted taking the photo from her car and passing it onto another car at a Wal-Mart parking lot.

via http://washingtontimes.com/upi/20051026-071834-5487r.htm

Without a doubt this is the BrainFart du jour! If this guy was in late teens or early 20's you could call this a FRAT HOUSE prank. This nutter is 40! How long before this jackass sues the WEBSITE he claims "inspired" him to do "it"? Perhaps he would have had better results HERE? You know the Little San Francisco of the East Coast?

Desert Island Boy aka DIB aka John has a nice post titled There's Always a Seat For You located here: http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/3452396

As usual with John it is an informative and a good read. You can catch the rest of DIB's blog here: Desert Island Boy

The JOKER has a good running thread here covering RELIGION and INCOME, Titled Religion = Income? Joker is another of my daily blog stops as well and is always a good read. Hope I get to meet The Joker one of these days...

Both of these guys above will be listed in the "LINKS" section over on the right of the screen as soon as I figure out how to ^%&&**&%$ do it!!!! So until I figure this out I will post my favorite stops on the www for a few days. If anyone has any suggestions for sites on the web post them!

Iranian leader: Israel will be destroyed Associated Press
TEHRAN, Iran - Iran's hard-line president called for Israel to be "wiped off the map" and said a new wave of Palestinian attacks will destroy the Jewish state, state-run media reported Wednesday.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also denounced attempts to recognize Israel or normalize relations with it.
"There is no doubt that the new wave (of attacks) in Palestine will wipe off this stigma (Israel) from the face of the Islamic world," Ahmadinejad told students Wednesday during a Tehran conference called "The World without Zionism."
"Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation's fury, any (Islamic leader) who recognizes the Zionist regime means he is acknowledging the surrender and defeat of the Islamic world," Ahmadinejad said.
Ahmadinejad also repeated the words of the founder of Iran's Islamic revolution, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who called for the destruction of Israel.
"As the Imam said, Israel must be wiped off the map," said Ahmadinejad, who came to power in August.
Ahmadinejad referred to Israel's recent withdrawal from the Gaza Strip as a "trick," saying Gaza is part of the Palestinian territories and the withdrawal was meant to make Islamic states acknowledge Israel.

Not a big deal that Iran wants to "split the atom" huh? Why don't we hear anything in protest of these words by anyone in the region? How long before the very country he wants destroyed takes a shot at him and the nation of Iran? Or worse.. Will the US jump in? Does this represent a major train of thought? Unbelieveable....

This isLONDON25/10/05 - Showbiz section
NEW BOND: I HATE GUNS!!! By This is London
Daniel Craig will have a problem playing the new James Bond - because he hates guns.
The actor will wield 007's famous Walther PPK in the movie Casino Royale.
But he revealed in OK! magazine: "I hate handguns. Handguns are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.
"That's a simple fact. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Bullets have a nasty habit of finding their target and that's what's scary about them."
Nor does the 37-year-old share Bond's love of Martinis shaken and stirred.
"I love a Martini straight up. I don't think anybody makes a Martini stirred any more," he said.
Craig was unveiled earlier this month as the successor to Pierce Brosnan. He will play a tougher, grittier 007 in Casino Royale, which is based on Ian Fleming's first Bond book.
The movie is due for release in November next year.
.Find this story at http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/articles/20728233?version=1

This is the BRAINFART du jour hands down. Perhaps for the month. Please o please don't tell me we are going to have a Politically Correct 007. Lord help us all. I want my BOND killing people to save the world with his Walther PPK. I want him throwing caution to the wind with the ladies and not wearing a condom. I want my Bond passing sexual innuendos with Ms. Moneypenny and being snide with Q and M. Above all I want my BOND to be a MANS MAN. Not some panty waste liberal pinko who doesn't have the SPINE and Testicular fortitude to stand up to a personal attack. I am afraid from the looks of this the new 007 isn't going to pass the "Bond, James Bond" sniff test.

Please prove me wrong but this is not a good first step to proclaim your disdain for the very thing 007 is known for and then take a fat paycheck to portray the very character and actions you don't like. HYPOCRITE or the word Money WHORE come to mind anyone? Going once...Twice... Three times??????????

China warns HIV cases could exceed 10 mln by 2010
Mon Oct 24, 1:45 AM ET via Yahoo News
China, once accused of being slow to acknowledge the threat of AIDS, could have as many as 10 million HIV carriers in five years if no effective preventive measures are taken, state media said on Monday, echoing a grim UN warning. China says it has 840,000 HIV-AIDS cases among its 1.3 billion population, but experts say at least a million poor farmers were infected in botched blood-selling schemes in the central province of Henan alone.
"If the preventive measures are slack, the number of people infected by HIV could reach 10 million by 2010," Dai Zhicheng, director of the Health Ministry's Committee of AIDS Experts, was quoted by the Xinhua Daily Telegraph as saying.
Dai said the number could be kept under 1.5 million if the right steps are taken and there are sufficient funds.
The United Nations has also said the number could rise to 10 million by the end of this decade if the epidemic is not treated seriously.
After initial reluctance to even talk about AIDS, China has poured millions of dollars into public awareness campaigns and providing free antiretroviral treatment.
State leaders have also made headlines shaking hands and chatting with AIDS patients, trying to remove the social stigma attached to the disease.
But public fear and ignorance remain strong and the government continues to be suspicious of volunteers and non-governmental organizations trying to help spread AIDS awareness.
Increasing social mobility and 25 years of economic reforms have also added extra difficulties -- 120 million of the rural population have swarmed into cities looking for work and drug abuse and prostitution have flourished.

It took a little while but at least the slow jarhead leaders of China are getting on the ball. Notice the great reporting.. "Once accused"! Like there was ever any doubt. The only place worse to have AIDS on the planet other than China would be Saudi Arabia. And people say the US Government sucks up to China and the Saudis. Looks like the press does as well. "Once accused" my ass. Another time on that one!

Of course more can be done on all fronts to combat AIDS but the real solution rests with individuals to make wise choices. Reminds me of a Tshirt I bought in Saudi years ago that said "KLINK Clunk Click Get a Condom on your Dick" with a picture of course of a happy dancing "schlong" all "wrapped" up. Think about it.......

from the NO PARKING ZONE.. DUH!!!!!!!!
Car Ticketed With Dead Body at the Wheel
via http://worldtribune.com/worldtribune/flash_7.html
The body of the 71-year-old man, whose identity was not immediately released, was discovered Thursday in a parking lot in the southern city of Melbourne, The Age newspaper reported Friday. The man had been reported missing nine days earlier and was known to be seriously ill, the newspaper said.

Nevertheless, a parking officer who inspected the vehicle failed to notice the man inside and issued the parking fine two days before his body was discovered.

Paul Denham, the mayor of Maroondah council, where the man was found, said the parking officer was "distressed" to learn that the dead man had been inside the car.
"Our local laws officer checked and wrote out the ticket at the rear of the vehicle and placed the ticket from the passenger side on the windscreen," Denham said in a statement. "The local laws officer did not notice anything unusual regarding the vehicle, and is extremely distressed to have learned of the situation.

Well I am so so glad to know that the officer is distressed over his incompetency! Doesn't it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy to know this fact... Now let's review the facts. The man had been reported missing, presumably with the auto, for 9 days and was also known to be SERIOUSLY ill as well. Melbourne isn't that big of place for this kind of thing to slip through the cracks. What this shows is how incompetent Civil Service employees are no matter what country or continent they are on. Of course I doubt anything will happen to this "FINE" officer. At the very least he owes the family an apology and if he was any kind of a MAN he would turn in his paper badge and lead pencil and get a REAL job that doesn't require him to be placed in any form of "Public Security". A city's greed for Parking tickets is more powerful and means more than the life of a taxpaying human. Nice Job Melbourne Australia..NOT!

Pirates hijack ship off Somalia via the BBC

Pirates have seized a cargo ship off the coast of Somalia, local officials have confirmed.
They said the Maltese-registered ship, Pagania, was attacked late on Wednesday as it sailed from South Africa to Europe with a cargo of iron ore. The hijackers are reportedly demanding a $700,000 (£394,000) ransom for the release of the ship and its crew, all believed to be Ukrainian.

More than 20 ships have been seized or attacked in the area since March. The International Maritime Bureau - which records such attacks - has recently advised ships "to keep as far away as possible from the Somali coast".
A UN-chartered ship carrying food aid to tsunami victims in northern Somalia, the MV Semlow, was released this month, after being held by hijackers for 100 days.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4363344.stm

And you thought Pirates where just in the movies didn't you? 007 is never around when you need him, and none of this poses a threat to the US does it? Think again........ Not only is this growing threat a potential problem for the US, the ramifications are serious for the enitre world. What kind of sick pukes hijack UN Chartered Ships and why in the bloody hell did it take 100 days for MV Semlow to be released? This also shows you the limp dick sydrome (LDS) at the UN and its inability to do anything. Crack Special OPs units should have been deployed and this boat secured within 48 hours. The boat secured and the hijackers killed. Send a message to other despots of the Seven Seas that the world will not put up with this bullshit.

However please note in the story what the BBC doesn't tell us.. Who are the Hijackers and don't think they don't know. Think about it.... The BBC has a history of refusing to call a SPADE a SPADE. These Hijackers are terrorist by any definition. Unless of course you subscribe to the BBC's defintion. Whatever that might be...

I wonder... I wonder

Just how long it is going to take Mahmood over at www.mahmood.tv to set his maniacal sights on one of THESE babies???? Going once... Going twice... SOLD!!!!!!!!!

Can I have a ride? PLEASE????????????

From the "America is a WONDERFULL Country" file:
Report: Home Makeover Recipient Has Record

PORTLAND, Maine
A disabled lobsterman who received a $500,000 log home from the TV show "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in an episode yet to be aired has a criminal past, including an armed robbery conviction, The Portland Press Herald reported Thursday. The criminal offenses and two drunken driving convictions occurred before Doug Goodale of Wells lost his arm in a fishing accident in That story caught the attention of the hit ABC reality show. Goodale told the Press Herald that an agreement with the show's producers bars him from talking until the episode airs, possibly next month.

Melissa Armstrong, a spokeswoman for the producers of "Extreme Makeover," declined to discuss Goodale's criminal history or whether it would have disqualified him. The application form, which was submitted by a family member, asks candidates whether they have been convicted of crimes, but the spokeswoman would not say whether the Goodale application had that information.
Goodale was working alone on his boat in 1997 when a winch caught his arm. He had to amputate it to free himself and then steer the boat back to port, where he was taken to the hospital. "It was twisting my arm off," Goodale said in an interview as he recovered. "I had a knife there and I just started cutting. If I didn't, I was dead meat."

The newspaper said it looked into Goodale's criminal record after receiving several tips from residents of Wells.
In the armed robbery case, Goodale was arrested in 1982 a day after a fast-food restaurant was robbed of $300 and its employees were forced into a walk-in cooler. Goodale pleaded guilty to a felony and served 60 days in jail. The rest of his one-year sentence was suspended. In 1997, he was given a suspended sentence for misdemeanor assault. His Maine driving record, which is separate from his criminal record, shows his license was suspended twice for drunken driving, in 1985 and 1995.

The Press Herald reported that the records it researched show different birth dates for Goodale, perhaps one reason "Extreme Makeover" may not have known about Goodale's crimes. Many court records list him as born in January 1964 _ making him an adult at the time of the 1982 robbery _ while other records, including his driver's license, say he was born in 1965. Goodale's ex-wife Becky Sellers was one of those who contacted the newspaper after his story was published. She thinks Goodale's past is part of the story and should not be glossed over or ignored by the television show. "He's had a hard life, but he brought it all on himself," said Sellers, who was married to Goodale from 1985 until 1992.

Officials with Katahdin Cedar Log Homes, which supplied the materials and workers to build the home, estimated its value at $500,000. Company president David Gordon said he wasn't troubled by Goodale's past, "as long as he paid his debt to society."

So the rest of us who bust our assess day in and day out to get the second home up in the mountains lose out to some one armed ex con. Sounds like a bad remake of THE FUGITIVE to me
Does this just not pass the sniff test or what? Where did I go wrong? O thats right. I am not a convited felon ergo I get to make house payments for the next 20 some years. That explains it. And network TV wonders why ratings are down. Calling Donald Trump. Calling Donald Trump!

All of this reminds me of a "joke" I heard , perhpas it is true? Seems the PortlandMaine City Council has finally laid to rest the age old question that YES if you DIVORCE your WIFE she is still legally your SISTER. At least in PORTLAND MAINE that is..

Michael Jackson Summoned for Jury Duty

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. - Authorities want Michael Jackson back in court — this time as a juror. Jackson received a jury summons at his Neverland Valley Ranch, four months after he was acquitted of child molestation charges.
"It's just one of those ironies of life that he'd be called as a juror," said Laurie Levenson, a professor at Loyola School of Law who monitored Jackson's trial.
It's unlikely that Jackson will show up for jury selection. His lawyers have filed paperwork for a deferment based on the fact that he now lives in Bahrain.
"He is permanently living outside of the United States," Thomas Mesereau, who defended Jackson against the child molestation charges, said Wednesday.
Jury Commissioner Gary Blair said Jackson likely will be excused from serving.
"All he has to do is show he has legal residency somewhere else and he'll be exempted," Blair said.
Blair said he summoned Ronald Reagan when he was president but granted him a deferment until he was out of office.
Actress Bo Derek, also a local resident, received at least two jury summonses and served on one panel without incident.

I wonder how long befor MJ is in COURT in Bahrain????? Are the good people of Bahrain sure you want MJ in your own backyard singing "WE ARE THE WORLD... WE ARE THE CHILDREN.."

Trespassing charged in horse-sex case
By Jennifer Sullivan
Seattle Times staff reporter
An Enumclaw-area man who authorities say helped run a farm where people had sex with animals — and where a Seattle man died doing so with a horse — was charged with a misdemeanor yesterday.
Police began investigating James Tait, 54, and another man who lived at the rural Southeast King County farm after the Seattle man died of injuries suffered during intercourse with a horse in the summer, Enumclaw police said.

The criminal-trespassing charge stems from a July 2 bestiality session involving Tait, the 45-year-old Seattle man and a horse in a neighbor's barn, charging papers say. According to the King County Medical Examiner's Office, the Seattle man died of acute peritonitis due to perforation of the colon. Attempts to contact Tait yesterday were unsuccessful.

King County prosecutors say it's the most-severe charge they could file; Washington is one of more than a dozen states that does not outlaw bestiality."There is no evidence of injury to the animal to support animal-cruelty charges," said Dan Satterberg, the county prosecutor's chief of staff. "This is the only crime we can charge."When interviewed by The Seattle Times July 15, the horse's owners said they had known their neighbors for years. The couple, who asked to have their names withheld to protect their privacy, said they were shocked when police showed them a home video of the July 2 incident that investigators seized from their neighbor's home. The couple identified their barn and their horse.

According to the King County Sheriff's Office, which also investigated, the farm was known in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people who want to have sex with livestock. Authorities didn't learn about the farm until July 2, when a man drove to Enumclaw Community Hospital seeking medical assistance for a companion. Medics wheeled the Seattle man into an examination room and realized he was dead. When hospital workers looked for the man who had dropped him off, he was gone, Enumclaw police said. Using the dead man's driver's license to track down relatives and acquaintances, investigators were led to the Enumclaw farm. Because the other man who lived at the farm wasn't there the night the Seattle man died, he wasn't charged with trespassing, Satterberg said. Tait will be arraigned Oct. 27; he faces up to a year in jail and a $5,000 fine if convicted.

The Seattle man isn't being identified because his family asked that his name not be released. The man's brother said he understands that prosecutors can't file a felony charge but remains disappointed that Tait wouldn't face more than a year behind bars. In the wake of the man's death, State Sen. Pam Roach, R-Auburn, has said she plans to draft legislation making bestiality illegal in Washington.
Jennifer Sullivan: 206-464-8294 or jensullivan@seattletimes.com

I don't know what else to add...........

Just a random thought or two......


Ok it is 8:00 am est. Saddam Hussein is on trail! YEE HAW! Let us all hope it is speedy and fair and let justice be done. You don't want to know what my idea of justice is for this "man". I will leave justice to the people of Iraq.

The shockwaves this trial is sending to other despot Arab regimes is enormous. Many must be wondering "am I next?" Hold your thobes and grab you socks boys you just might be. I truly sense the ground moving in the region. Change is happening though not as fast as many would like and too fast for others. Whatever side you fall on the train of reform has left the station and it isn't coming back. What I have witnessed in the region in the last 5 years is astonishing. People are speaking about against their own governments and living to tell about it. Sometimes it seems like it is one step forward and two steps back but the underlying issue is people are gaining the strength to raise their voices as individuals and as a collective unit. It is truly a beautifully thing to witness. The slow birth of true freedom.

Often other people who are citizens of nations who are "democratic" don't fully understand the price paid by the generations before them. In this sense I urge us all to take a step back and ponder for a second just how good we have it and remember those who are trying to cut their own path to a Democratic form of government.

CerebralWaste's BRAIN FART du jour is:

Malik Zulu Shabazz

No not this Malik you remember the one that HAUNTS or haunted so many Bahraini blogs such as www.mahmood.tv and http://desertislandboy.blogs.com . No sadly it is not him. Rather the Malik Zulu Shabazz. This guy is something special. You can become familiar with him by reading about him and some of his exploits at FrontpageMag .

I saw this tart last night on DIB's Favorite network FOX and let me tell you this guy is a pimple on the ass of society. Mix in his twisted view of Islam and the paranoia of the "white man is going to get me" with the silver tongue of a parasitic race baiting lawyer and this is him. Not as simple as the old question of: "Why is it that converts become the biggest zealots?" No not that simple. Cold and calculated this one is.

Somehow I have to question this Malik'$ motive$ if you get my drift. Perhaps we can all email these "new" Black Panthers for some clarification? For those interested the email addre$$ is newpantherparty@aol.com and the quasi website is www.newblackpanther.com

Oh.. Malik/Abu if you read this don't feel bad. I am sure sooner or later you will get the honor of having the BrainFart du jour! I will email you when the time comes. No need for you to check everyday.

Wilma Strengthened into a Hurricane
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/10/18/D8DAJT3O2.html

Now why do I have this feeling inside that this is going to be one rough winter as well? Already the fall isn't happening. While temps have been moderate we have had so much wind and rain that many trees have lost a good percentage of their leaves and I am afraid that wonderful fall color may be in jeopardy.

Still something tells me that we are going to have one heck of winter here on the East Coast.

Global warming my ass.......

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com

I found this site somewhere. Don't remember the exact who what where when how and why's but I have had it book marked and while I can't vouch 100% for it. I can say it will show you a flip side of things. If anyone out there has any other info about this don't be shy about sharing it.

I think, (dangerous I know) that perhaps I picked this site up from a post at The Religious Policeman over at http://muttawa.blogspot.com/. A site will worth checking out. He is one funny guy and provides a very unique view of the big sand box, Saudi Arabia. Hopefully some day I will be able to meet him face to face and chow down on some shawarma and slurp a cold amber colored beverage or two with him. On the more liberal end of the Pier of course!

RIP Toody's in Wakefield Massachusetts. It was good to know ya.

It all started at about 11:30 am this morning. Monday, October 17th 2005. My stomach was starting to growl. Yep time to feed my tapeworm. So being the nice guy that I am I slid my shoes on and limped my way across the street and banged on the door of my neighbor and good friend Eric. I figured I would ask Eric if he wanted to put the ole FEEDBAG on with me and go to the newly reopened world famous TOODY'S in Wakefield Massachusetts.

Let me give you some background here. Toody's was an INSTITUTION in Italian deli eating on the North Shore. It first opened in 1945 and was family owned and operated and most famous for its RED SAUCE. I mean people would drive from as far as Southern New Hampshire to buy a pint of their sauce. It was that good. So earlier this past summer when the family announced that where selling out a tremor was felt for miles around. Was this the end? Assurances had been given that the new owners would not be changing the "recipe" and all would be fine. WHEW! So much for that....

Anyway back to the story. Eric agreed to the chance to grab some food and off we went like a male version of Thelma and Louise. The first thing we notice was the name was changed. The ole TOODY's sign was still on the building but the new name was DETTORRE'S "Italian Deli & Bella Cucina". Ok that's cool. Upscale name, new look, the place looked REVAMPED. Hey the original place wasn't dirty but shall we say... dated? We look for a menu board.. There is none. AHHH! There's a menu. We grab one. THANK GOODNESS. They still have my favorite Veal Parm and Eric's Meatball Subs on the menu! Now for those that know me there is only one thing I like better than a Veal Parm and that is 1 doz Beef Shawarmas and those just aren't available around these parts, so it doesn't take an advanced degree in Psychic Reading to know what we ordered. You got it... A Veal Parm and MeatBall sub. YEAH BABAY YEAH! I am feeling like a KING. Forget the fact the PATS lost yesterday, I am getting ready to CHOMP down on some good eating and all the better with a good friend too.

Ok so the orders are placed and I figured I would pay the tab. Eric is a good pal and he ponyed up for Patriots tickets TWICE and wouldn't take a DIME for my share so I pried the cash out of wallet (keeping the moths!) and paid. What seemed like a dragging 15 mins later we get the food and proceed to meander our way to our old favorite table. Guess not. We where abruptly told you can no longer sit "in the dining room unless you ordered from the dining room". What? This is a SUB shop not a North End eatery? Ok OK so we prop our butts up on the stools and small bar type platform that encircles the other side and proceed to open up the subs and do what we do best and EAT!

Even with the somewhat long wait for the food and the snooty "you can't sit here" remark we where both very excited about sinking our teeth into the food. Until.... We started to eat.
Good Lord what have they given me. My veal Parm tasted like it had FREEZER burn. The "sauce" was nothing more PASTENE No Salt Kitchen Ready Ground Peeled Tomatoes. No Garlic, Basil, Oregano or other "ingredients" Just plain sauce. Smothered so thick you couldn't pick up the sub with out the veal sliding out the other end. GROSS is an understatement. Eric's Meatball was no better. Neither of us finished the subs and both just looked at each other shell shocked as to what we just experienced.

I will never understand just how or why someone would buy an established sub shop (60 years old) and change the very essence of what made the place famous.And successfully. It is truly a big BRAIN FART. To spend that kind of money to destroy something is beyond words. Though I did notice something that might explain it all printed on the new menu. On the very bottom of the new menu are the words "STRAIGHT FROM THE NORTH END". Now for those of you out there who are not familiar with the North End of Boston well I have one world for you. ITALIAN. Italian from the day the Italians came to Boston and remains so to this day. How do these words explain the situation. Well they probably are "Straight from the North End" because there is no way in HELL any self respecting Italian from the North End is going to allow this shit to be served there. So the good people of the North End ran them out to the burbs.

So congrats to the nameless owners of DETTORRE'S. You are CerebralWaste's BRAINFART du JOUR.

College Student Files ADA Complaint for Ferret
Sarah Sevick says her ferret is more than just a pet - the animal is a medical necessity. Sevick, 19, has filed an Americans With Disabilities Act complaint against her school because it won't let her keep the animal in her dormitory. She said she needs the ferret, named Lilly, at Our Lady of the Lake University to calm her during panic attacks. "I'm not suing the school, and I'm not asking for money," she said. I'm just trying to get her here." Sevick said she has post-traumatic stress disorder stemming from a physical disorder and depression. She said her problems are related, legally, to a physical disability. "It's something inside my body that I can't control," she said.
Susan Schleicher, spokeswoman at Our Lady of the Lake, said the university could not comment.
© 2005 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved

Notice the last sentence. Poor Susan. You just know she wants to say a few choice and very un-Catholic things towards the Ferret loving twit named Sarah Sevick. Well Susan allow me.

Sarah dear. From a guy who had a Ferret for 10 years do us all a favor, and please don't take offense but take your lawsuit and stick it in your ass. Just what kind of Texas Tea have you been smoking? Or was it something stronger? If your stress is that bad..GO HOME! Do your University work ON LINE. Spare the REAL students and the STAFF at the fine school your BULLSHIT. Save us the TAXPAYERS from your BULLSHIT. I do hope the Judge slaps your suit out of Court like someone beating a Red Headed Step Child.

Save yourself more stress in future you unbridled bitch and go and get your TUBES tied NOW. Can't see you being a parent. God forbid in the future you should spread you legs and squeeeezzze out a bastard child who will be raised with the same penchant for brain farts like you. Holy Mother of Mary what are you thinking girl?
Seriously though, how can you even show your face on Campus? Have you no SHAME? Next time why don't you just file a Lawsuit against your own Mother for giving birth to you in the first place. That ought to help your problems.

PETA workers face 25 felony counts in North Carolina

PETA employees Andrew B. Cook, 24, of Virginia Beach, and Adria J. Hinkle, 27, of Norfolk, were served with warrants on 22 felony charges of animal cruelty and the three felony charges of obtaining property by false pretense in court on Friday.
A grand jury is expected to consider formal indictments Oct. 31, Assistant District Attorney Donnie Taylor said.

Please welcome these two and really the entire PETA crowd for having a HUGE Collective BRAINFART. You can read the story here: http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=93730&ran=57036
Meanwhile I just chowed down on BBQ RIBS (Pork of course!) Wings, Catfish nuggets, BBQ Chicken and Onion Rings BEFORE the Patriots Game! During the game I am sure I will swill on some Cold European Amber Colored Beverages and more food that mainly consists of some form of dead animal. In my eyes PETA stands for PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS. The only thing that would make this day better would be if I had some shawarma!

The very FIRST BRAINFART du jour (drum roll please!) Is awarded to...

http://uaethink.blogspot.com/2005/10/naturalization-while-i-disagree-with.html

Well it didn't take very long. This chap at the address above has experianced one. Though he seems to be in denial about the whole affair as witnessed here at www.mahmood.tv


Special thanks to Mahmood who has encouraged me several times to start a blog and who is also one helluva a guy.

I did it... At last. I created a blog. This blog. CEREBRALWASTE. Why? As I often say "WHY NOT?" I am sure the content I lay down here will vary as most do, but I plan to highlight items that I find to be, well shall we say...BRAINFARTS. Those faux pas made by us all at one time or another but mostly those items that are just out of bounds and down right tragic in nature though somewhat humorous as well. Nobody is immune in my eyes. NO ONE. You commit a BrainFart and if it draws my attention CerebralWaste might expose it for all who care to see. If you run across a BRAINFART drop me a line at Skunkcrazy@AOL.com Notice has been served.